I try to be mindful of what i’m leaving behind. if I were to die today and a stranger looked at my page, what would I be seen as? if a stranger overheard my conversations, what would they think? if I passed away today, the amount of followers, the amount of money and likes would all mean nothing. All that matters is what i left behind and what I was known for, my habits. My character, the impact i’ve had in each space I was in, who I was as a daughter, friend, teammate, and sister. All i would have left behind are my words, memories, pictures, videos, experiences. A few years ago, i would have probably been ashamed if that was all that was left of me. I spent a lot of time trying to look cool, fit in a box that society put me in, i cussed for no reason at all, I was searching for highs, I was trying to find meaning in all of the wrong people and places, I was not consistently a good person. I was mean for no reason, to all of the wrong people… But, if i were to pass away today I would hope that those who never got the chance to experience me after being saved knew I forgive them and I would hope they forgive me, I would hope they believed that my change of heart was real. I would hope the kids I coach would remember me as the coach who prayed with them, who taught them life lessons, how to work hard, I would hope they would remember me as a mentor, someone they looked up to, trusted, could laugh with. Not someone who only cared about winning. I would hope they understood it was all bigger than basketball. If I were to pass away today I would hope my parents are proud of the person I became and that they noticed my change, that they were impacted by my love for Jesus, that I may have sparked some curiosity and pushed them to want to know Him more. I would hope they forgive me for the horrible attitude I had with them, just because I never felt understood and didn’t have the patience to communicate it. Im grateful for the extra years ive been given, because if my time would’ve been cut sure im not sure I would be remembered for those things a few years ago. I wasn’t as mindful of how I presented myself, the pictures I posted, my temper, the way I spoke out of frustration, the decisions I made. God spared me, everyday has been another chance to become a better person. To leave a positive mark. To understand life is not all about, me. Life isn’t all about getting attention and trying to be liked, trying to impress people or been seen as cool. I’ve learned It is more attractive to be smart, knowledge and wisdom is worth more than money. If I were to pass away today I would hope to be seen as someone who was just trying to make the world better, someone who just wanted to let people know love still exist, good people still exist. That Jesus saved me, that He is a healer.