He says I’m wonderfully made.
But his words slips through the cracks of my fingers.
I cant seem to hold on to that truth.
I can’t fix my eyes on him.
There’s a wall between us that my fear put up.
Worried he won’t see me as wonderful anymore.
Worried I am no longer what he made
or doing what I was purposed for.
What if my sins distorted my features?
If I fix my eyes on him
What if he doesn’t recognize me as his child?
What if he looks back at me and isn’t happy with who he sees?
See I am the daughter who wants to be perfect for her father so to not do so is to fail.
It feels easier to hide than to face disappointment.
But still there’s more shame in the hiding
Why do I put up a wall that blocks out his light and sit isolated in darkness I created?
I hate it.
I hate
when my own unforgivness tries to bullying me into thinking he won’t forgive me.
I think a side effect of sin is letting go of what God has said about me.